out of hand

things have gotten out of hand, nothing surprising.
the last two times similar things happened and we stopped all contact.
everything that's happening is just a vicious cycle that has been repeating itself.
looks like it's time to implement a cooling down period for me.
i should never have let you come and go, as and when you wanted.
but it's ok, this time, we part for life.
maybe in time we will be friends, but that's all.

i have tried my very best, to be there for you, but no matter how hard i try, it's never enough.
when you are sick, i always take care of you in whatever way i can, but when i was sick, things were different.
when you ask for surprises, i try my best to think and plan, but i've never received any from you even though i asked.
when you have issues related to our relationship you want to talk to me about, i try my best to listen and give in;
when i had issues, you almost always flare up and say that i am asking for too much.
is it really always my fault?

the approach that i have always taken towards you, is to just be nice, to care, to slowly touch you and win your love.
yes, i did win it in the end, at least according to what you tell me.
i always try harder, i give in more.
but just because i give in too much, you climb over my head.
giving in does not relate to being at fault.
maybe what they say is true, giving too much will just result in me being taken for granted.

towards the end of our relationship, you told me nothing, so much so that i was always left guessing.
and that is why i always ask.
i guessed and waited for months, throughout our relationship, whether official or unofficial.
you know you have once hurt me badly when you didn't love me enough, yet now i am hurt again, in a time when you tell me that you love me.

if you truly loved me, why didn't you hold on to our relationship? why was it always me holding on?
because you were clouded by your past bad experience in a previous relationship.
a relationship whereby you truly tried, and tried to hang on, but didn't manage to make it work in the end.

sometimes i really feel that you have let me down, but i know you just think that we have incompatible characters.
maybe you'll never see things the way i do.
or maybe one day you will see the way i see things, but by then, i would have been long gone.